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compulsions. inner urges.

Could I still stop myself from feeling and letting this wicked, inner bitch live inside me? Nevertheless, here you go: this is my mental imprint, my tiresome everyday; featuring my fucking compulsions.

——

"what are you doing?"
"typing and thinking..."
"they have become your vice."
"definitely. addictive!"
"oh, wait,"
"what does 'vice' (\ˈvīs\) even mean for you?"
"enunciate not!"
"okay, i apologize..."
"does it connote suffering?"
"it does and it does not... personally"
"w-what?"
"it is a win-win,
nonetheless";
"it's an indulgence!"

"curse it; fuck it!"

"i excuse my language!"

"omg, 'i' was not capitalized! This should be consistent."

"I excuse my language!"

"ugh, finally; relieved!"

"you are such an overreacting retard!"

"oh, well, this is irrational, I know, but... fuck, who cares about these?"

"okay, this is tiresome!"

"wait, tiring or tiresome? i might get judged for this... gonna search for it, first, before blurting it out."

"it is freaking hell!!!!"

"wait! One... Two... Three... Four...?! IT'S 4 EXCLAMATION POINTS! DON'T USE EVEN NUMBERS!!! IT'S DISGUSTING!"

"you know what? JUST FUCKING STOP IT!"

"you have to be sane; it's just a phase!"

"get over it!"

"god and your family love you!"

"wait, that is blasphemous; 'god' should be capitalized! why am I so reckless?! I might go to Hell; He is watching me right now."

"but it will just ruin the aesthetics i got used to???"

"seriously?!"

"okay, fine!"

"God."

"there, fixed it!"

"relieved? yes!!! thanks!"

"but the capitalization is not consistent compared to the previous statements?"

"fuck it!"

"they love me, I know! But, hmmm, okay?"

"just help me get out of this hell..."

"no, sufferings is a way to strengthen yourself. Just pray; there's no hell!"

"you don't use 'is' to refer a plural word... It should be 'are.' But, yeah, I am sorry for that... Anyway, yes; this is hell!"

"okay, you are now being ridiculous."

"and perfectionist."

"i am?"

"hey..."

"uhm?"

"what's a sane, anyway?"

"i don't know."

"i just know insane."

"stop it; you will be okay..."

"just breathe. be positive in life."

"i have to go; bye!"

"where are you going?"

"i'm going to disinfect my hands!"

"my hands are already 5-minute exposed on the screen..."

"i fear their invasion. i fear getting ill."

"what? whose invasion?"

"bacteria? viruses? they are smiling at me—figuratively"

"huh, are you crazy? they won't!"

"my naked eyes might be lying to me!"

"AND YES, I AM CRAZY!"

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